Perfectionism is a shield. It’s an attempt to cover up your flaws and missteps. It’s like armor that you put on to protect yourself from criticism.
Are you a people-pleaser? Being kind, generous, and flexible are wonderful qualities. But sometimes we’re too accommodating, too eager to please, and too afraid of saying “no”. There is a price to be paid for being “too nice”. Ryan is a classic people-pleaser. He’s been dating Jessie for two years and hopes to marry her. From […]
Codependency isn’t just amplified helping. One of the big misconceptions about codependency is that it’s simply being super, duper nice. It’s true that most codependents are kind and generous to a fault. You typically struggle to say “no” and set limits. As a result, people take advantage of your desire to help. But codependency is much more […]
My clients often ask me: “What is a healthy relationship?”. This is a great question because it’s not obvious or instinctual to many, especially if you were abused as a child or you’ve witnessed or experienced abuse in a romantic relationship. If you’ve had a history of abuse or other trauma, it can be hard to […]
I recently had the privilege to write an article for the Stop Medicine Abuse campaign. Their mission is to prevent abuse of over the counter medications, especially cough medicines containing DXM. I decided to write a piece for parents about how to cope if your concern about your teen’s substance use. My tips apply whether […]
What is self-care? Self care is doing something for your own health and well-being. It’s something enjoyable. It’s a way of prioritizing yourself. It’s a proactive way to manage stress and ward off anxiety and depression. I’m part of a self-care group for therapists where we share ideas and support each other in taking good […]
Communication problems are one of the most common reasons couples and families come to counseling. It’s hard! It can help to remember that healthy communication is a skill and it can be learned. We all learn how to communicate from our families and other early experiences. However, these aren’t always the most respectful and productive […]
New Year. New You? Well, yes and no. You are will always be “you”. You’re not going to completely transform yourself because it’s a new year. That being said, it is a natural time for setting goals and change. Many of us like to think of the process of personal growth as uncovering your true […]