12 Tell-Tale Signs That You're a People-Pleaser

12 Tell-Tale Signs That You’re a People-Pleaser

Are you a people-pleaser? Being kind, generous, and flexible are wonderful qualities. But sometimes we’re too accommodating, too eager to please, and too afraid of saying “no”. There is a price to be paid for being “too nice”. Ryan is a classic people-pleaser. He’s been dating Jessie for two years and hopes to marry her. From the beginning, Jessie has been […]

Conquer your People-Pleasing Patterns

People-pleasing is a common trait among codependents. It simply means that you go to extremes to make other people happy, often at your own expense. Have you noticed that your people-pleasing causes problems for you? Well, logically we all know that it’s impossible to please others all of the time. So, we are doomed to failure when we’re constantly people-pleasing. […]

Nice Guy’s Guide to Setting Boundaries with your Ex

Setting Boundaries with Your Ex This is my second post in my Nice Guy series. It is aimed at helping “nice guys” to have happier, healthier relationships and get their needs met. Even though it’s titled Nice Guys, I think many women will relate as well. I work with a lot of “nice guys” in my psychotherapy practice. They tend […]

childhood trauma, adult children of alcoholics, and self-worth

What Every Adult Child of an Alcoholic Needs to Know About Self-Worth

    Children who grow up in alcoholic, dysfunctional, or abusive families often feel inadequate, defective or broken; and these feelings don’t magically disappear when they grow up and leave home. Feelings of inadequacy stick with us – plaguing many Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACAs) or Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families with a lack of self-worth.   Why do some […]

Understanding the Need to Please #peoplepleasing #codependency

Understanding the Need to Please

    Do you have a strong need to please others? When was the last time you told someone “No, I can’t help you with that” or “I have a different opinion”? It can feel risky – emotionally vulnerable – to set limits or assert our needs or opinions (especially if we know they are different than other people’s). Of […]

How Codependents Can Stop Rescuing and Enabling

Stop Rescuing and Enabling: Tips for Codependents

Learn to stop rescuing and enabling.   Codependents are often caretakers – which seems like a great quality except we tend to do it at our own expense and often when help isn’t wanted or needed. The result is a codependent pattern of rescuing, resenting, and regretting.   What is codependent rescuing? Rescuing is an unhealthy version of helping. It […]

6 Signs that You Need to Say No More Often

6 Signs that You Need to Say “No”

  Annie constantly feels overwhelmed by all she has to do. There are so many competing demands on her time – family obligations, social invitations, work deadlines, household chores, community events she’d like to attend, and the ever-elusive self-care. She hates to disappoint people, so even though she’s stretched too thin already, she finds herself saying yes to every request, […]

6 Defining Characteristics of Codependency

6 Defining Symptoms of Codependency

  We use the term codependency rather loosely these days. It’s great that more people are familiar with codependency, but if it’s going to help us understand ourselves in a meaningful way, we need to be clear about the symptoms of codependency. In a nutshell, people who identify as codependent usually play the role of “rescuer” in a relationship with […]