Are you a people-pleaser? Being kind, generous, and flexible are wonderful qualities. But sometimes we’re too accommodating, too eager to please, and too afraid of saying “no”. There is a price to be paid for being “too nice”. Ryan is a classic people-pleaser. He’s been dating Jessie for two years and hopes to marry her. From the beginning, Jessie has been […]
People-pleasing is a common trait among codependents. It simply means that you go to extremes to make other people happy, often at your own expense. Have you noticed that your people-pleasing causes problems for you? Well, logically we all know that it’s impossible to please others all of the time. So, we are doomed to failure when we’re constantly people-pleasing. […]
Setting Boundaries with Your Ex This is my second post in my Nice Guy series. It is aimed at helping “nice guys” to have happier, healthier relationships and get their needs met. Even though it’s titled Nice Guys, I think many women will relate as well. I work with a lot of “nice guys” in my psychotherapy practice. They tend […]
Children who grow up in alcoholic, dysfunctional, or abusive families often feel inadequate, defective or broken; and these feelings don’t magically disappear when they grow up and leave home. Feelings of inadequacy stick with us – plaguing many Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACAs) or Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families with a lack of self-worth. Why do some […]
Do you have a strong need to please others? When was the last time you told someone “No, I can’t help you with that” or “I have a different opinion”? It can feel risky – emotionally vulnerable – to set limits or assert our needs or opinions (especially if we know they are different than other people’s). Of […]
Annie constantly feels overwhelmed by all she has to do. There are so many competing demands on her time – family obligations, social invitations, work deadlines, household chores, community events she’d like to attend, and the ever-elusive self-care. She hates to disappoint people, so even though she’s stretched too thin already, she finds herself saying yes to every request, […]
We use the term codependency rather loosely these days. It’s great that more people are familiar with codependency, but if it’s going to help us understand ourselves in a meaningful way, we need to be clear about the symptoms of codependency. In a nutshell, people who identify as codependent usually play the role of “rescuer” in a relationship with […]
Do you ever feel like it’s mean or selfish to set boundaries? Do you feel guilty — like you’re doing something wrong — when you set boundaries? If so, read on to learn how to set boundaries without being mean and without the guilt and icky feeling that your needs don’t matter. What are boundaries? Boundaries create physical and emotional […]