Growing up as a highly sensitive person (HSP), I often felt flawed, inferior, and overwhelmed. I was told I was too sensitive and quiet, that I should speak up more, and make more friends. Like many HSPs, I was anxious at school because of the overstimulating noise, bright fluorescent lights, crowded hallways, and pressure to be like everyone else. I […]
“I’m so busy being a wife, mother, daughter, and nurse that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m always taking care of others and trying to keep them happy. I’m not even sure what I like, believe, and value.” “I’m really self-critical. It’s hard for me to accept compliments. I dwell on my mistakes and imperfections.” “I […]
Do you have unrealistically high expectations? Do you expect perfection from yourself and others? Are you frequently disappointed that things don’t go as planned? Are you exceptionally hard on yourself? Do you feel like no matter what you do, it’s never good enough? These are all signs of that perfectionism. Perfectionists set impossibly high standards for themselves […]
Striving for excellence is a good thing. Perfectionism, however, is an unrealistic and unrelenting expectation that you’ll excel at everything, always do and say the “right” thing, and be everything to everyone. People who struggle with codependency, tend to struggle with perfectionism as well. Perfectionism is one of the ways we try to feel in control and worthy.
Why are women susceptible to people-pleasing and perfectionism? While people-pleasing and perfectionism aren’t exclusively women’s issues, women are socialized in many cultures to be care takers, put other people’s needs before their own, and be passive. They worry about what other people think of them; they don’t want to displease or be seen as “difficult” or “high maintenance”. […]
Perfectionism is a shield. It’s an attempt to cover up your flaws and missteps. It’s like armor that you put on to protect yourself from criticism.
I am pleased to introduce you to Carolyn Ferreira, Psy.D. She has written a fantastic guest blog for us about the link between perfectionism and suicide. I met Carolyn online and was immediately drawn to her insightful posts and our shared interest in overcoming perfectionism. Carolyn Ferreira, PsyD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, author, and mental health blogger. She […]
Therapy and Counseling for Perfectionists in San Jose Silicon Valley attracts the most creative, hard-working, and innovative people. My clients thrive on setting and achieving high goals. Perfectionism, however, can stand in the way. High standards are great. Unrealistic expectations and self-criticism are not! Signs of Perfectionism include: Unrealistically high expectations of yourself and/or others Highly critical of yourself and/or others Feeling […]