childhood trauma, adult children of alcoholics, and self-worth

What Every Adult Child of an Alcoholic Needs to Know About Self-Worth

    Children who grow up in alcoholic, dysfunctional, or abusive families often feel inadequate, defective or broken; and these feelings don’t magically disappear when they grow up and leave home. Feelings of inadequacy stick with us – plaguing many Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACAs) or Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families with a lack of self-worth.   Why do some […]

Understanding the Need to Please #peoplepleasing #codependency

Understanding the Need to Please

    Do you have a strong need to please others? When was the last time you told someone “No, I can’t help you with that” or “I have a different opinion”? It can feel risky – emotionally vulnerable – to set limits or assert our needs or opinions (especially if we know they are different than other people’s). Of […]

The problem with unsolicited advice and how to avoid it

The Problem with Unsolicited Advice and How to Avoid It

    Are you guilty of giving unsolicited advice? Advice is usually intended to be helpful. And many of us (myself included) offer guidance and suggestions, even tell others what they should do, without being asked.  Regardless of our intentions, giving advice that isn’t wanted, can be annoying, intrusive, and even manipulative. In this article, we’ll explore why we give […]

How Codependents Can Stop Rescuing and Enabling

Stop Rescuing and Enabling: Tips for Codependents

Learn to stop rescuing and enabling.   Codependents are often caretakers – which seems like a great quality except we tend to do it at our own expense and often when help isn’t wanted or needed. The result is a codependent pattern of rescuing, resenting, and regretting.   What is codependent rescuing? Rescuing is an unhealthy version of helping. It […]

Freedom and Healing from Toxic Relationships

Freedom and Healing from Toxic Relationships

    A toxic or codependent relationship can make you feel trapped, small, and deficient. It can feel like an anchor weighing you down, suffocating you. People who grew up in dysfunctional families, with parents who lacked boundaries, abused drugs or alcohol, or suffered from mental illness, develop a set of coping skills that helped them deal with the chaos […]

How to Prioritize Your Needs: A Guide for Codependents

How To Prioritize Your Needs: A Guide for Codependents

Do you prioritize your needs? Or are you so busy taking care of everyone else that there’s no time and energy left for you? Well, you’re not alone! Lots of us are stretched to the max. And if you have codependent traits, you may find it extra hard to prioritize self-care. Perhaps you’re happy to take care of everyone else’s […]

6 Defining Characteristics of Codependency

6 Defining Symptoms of Codependency

  We use the term codependency rather loosely these days. It’s great that more people are familiar with codependency, but if it’s going to help us understand ourselves in a meaningful way, we need to be clear about the symptoms of codependency. In a nutshell, people who identify as codependent usually play the role of “rescuer” in a relationship with […]

Codependent Thinking: What it is and how to change it

Codependent Thinking: What It Is and How to Reframe It

What is codependent thinking? Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is focused on taking care of, fixing, or controlling the other to the extent that he neglects his own needs. The relationship becomes enmeshed – there aren’t clear boundaries or a sense of being separate, unique, independent people. Codependency is built on low self-worth – feelings […]