According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, a boundary is “a point or limit that indicates where two things become different”. It is where I stop and you begin. A boundary is a line or space between two people. Healthy boundaries are important to our physical and emotional health. Boundaries provide protection. If boundaries are weak, we are vulnerable. And if […]
Perfectionism can be a serious barrier to success and happiness at work and in personal relationships. We might think having high standards is a good thing. However, perfectionists are so harsh and rigid in their thinking and behavior that it can become a problem. Here are 10 signs you are a perfectionist to help you get started. High expectations […]
People-pleasing is a common trait among codependents. It simply means that you go to extremes to make other people happy, often at your own expense. Have you noticed that your people-pleasing causes problems for you? Well, logically we all know that it’s impossible to please others all of the time. So, we are doomed to failure when we’re constantly people-pleasing. […]
Don’t take it personally…..It’s not all about you! And I mean that in the nicest way. It’s common to imagine that others are thinking about and responding to you much of the time. You aren’t conceded or selfish. However, this is a common thinking error that leads to taking things personally when they are not. Below I shed some light on […]
Co-dependency: Answers to your Questions about Co-dependent Relationships and Co-dependent Behaviors What does co-dependency mean? Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship pattern where one partner is dependent and impaired in some way and the other is constantly trying to help, change, fix, rescue. The “rescuer” derives self-esteem and purpose though helping. The emphasis on helping the partner often means the “rescuers” […]
Counseling Group / Support Group in San Jose Many people are reluctant to try group therapy. I invite you to give it a try. It can be a wonderful experience. Here are some of the benefits: Benefit from the wisdom and experience of other group members, not just the therapist Gain positive sense of self through helping other group members Decreases […]
Understanding Co-dependent Relationships by Sharon Martin, LCSW Co-dependent relationships are out of balance. Co-dependents are extremely caring people, but codependency goes beyond wanting to help others. Co-dependents want to fix others. Co-dependents derive self-esteem and feel valued primarily through the helping role. They, therefore, become attached to people who have problems of various sorts and need to be taken care of.
Break Free from Codependency At the heart of codependency is a lack of valuing one’s self. People who are codependent value others more than themselves and this contributes to relationship problems. Their lives revolve around helping, fixing or saving others at their own expense. Relationships become very unbalanced.