Alcoholism and addiction affect the entire family, not just the addict. The effects are especially profound if you grew up with an addicted parent. Many adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) or addicts are amazed at how accurately the six family roles outlined in this article describe the family they grew up in. Why is addiction considered a family […]
Category Archives: counseling in San Jose
High Achievers Can Build Stronger Relationships by Doing Less and Embracing Imperfection
Here in Silicon Valley, we’re surrounded by high achievers. It seems like everyone’s just launched a start-up company, bought a new Tesla, or their kid got into an Ivy League college. All this achieving is great – it drives innovation, solves problems, and fuels our economy – but it can also take a toll on individuals and their […]
How to Use Mindfulness to Stop being a Perfectionist
Perfectionism can make it hard for you to enjoy your life. Are you ready to stop being a perfectionist and start enjoying your life? Do your exacting standards and quest for perfection actually get in the way of happy and fulfilling relationships and experiences? Perfectionism is an unhealthy and unforgiving striving for achievement. Perfectionists want things to be […]
Heal Codependency: Lessons From a New Self-Help Book by Sharon Martin
Are you drawn to people with serious problems, who tend to “under function”? Do you feel lonely in your relationships? Do you feel like no one listens to you or no one cares about you? Are you tired of having the same arguments over and over again? Do you feel invisible or insignificant? Do people take advantage of your […]
How to Set Boundaries with Negative People
Negative people deplete your energy Negative people are like “energy vampires”. I first encountered the term energy vampire when I read Judith Orloff’s book Emotional Freedom (affiliate link) a few years ago. No matter what you call them, we’ve all encountered them. Energy vampires are those people who exude negative energy, drain you emotionally, and leave you empty and annoyed. […]
Healing Shame and Self-Criticism
Healing shame Shame is a feeling that you’re wrong, bad, unimportant, or unworthy. Shame defines you as “less than” or “damaged”. The terms guilt and shame are often used inter-changeably, but guilt actually refers to a feeling or belief that your behavior is wrong or bad. Shame is a much more painful experience as it’s felt internally as a core […]
What are Cognitive Distortions?
Cognitive distortions are also known as thinking errors, thinking distortions, irrational thoughts, distorted thoughts, and negative automatic thoughts. Cognitive distortions are ways that you twist up your thinking to see yourself, your situation, and other people in a negative light. They’re basically your mind playing tricks on you; convincing you that you’re not as good as everyone else, people […]
14 Gratitude Journal Prompts
We need gratitude more than ever. When we’re feeling discouraged, alone, anxious, or angry, it’s hard to be grateful. We know we’re supposed to feel grateful. It’s Thanksgiving-time after all. But you may be having a hard time tapping into gratitude right now. Our country is in turmoil, leaving us with a heaviness that’s hard to shake. Or maybe […]