“I’m so busy being a wife, mother, daughter, and nurse that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m always taking care of others and trying to keep them happy. I’m not even sure what I like, believe, and value.” “I’m really self-critical. It’s hard for me to accept compliments. I dwell on my mistakes and imperfections.” “I […]
Why do some adult children of alcoholics become workaholics? “Work first. Play later.” That’s the motto Elizabeth grew up with. It was hard for her to relax and enjoy things when there was work to be done, a project left unfinished, or something still on her to-do list. She was more comfortable working than having fun. Play and rest just […]
Most people appreciate the advantages of an efficient routine and having things go according to plan. But some of us get highly stressed, upset, or angry when life takes an unexpected turn – whether it’s an accident on your way to work or something as minor as your kids leaving a big mess in the kitchen. Yes, some of […]
This post contains an affiliate link. Do you have unrealistically high expectations? Do you expect perfection from yourself and others? Are you frequently disappointed that things don’t go as planned? Are you exceptionally hard on yourself? Do you feel like no matter what you do, it’s never good enough? These are all signs of that perfectionism. Perfectionists […]
Striving for excellence is a good thing. Perfectionism, however, is an unrealistic and unrelenting expectation that you’ll excel at everything, always do and say the “right” thing, and be everything to everyone. People who struggle with codependency, tend to struggle with perfectionism as well. Perfectionism is one of the ways we try to feel in control and worthy.
Here in Silicon Valley, we’re surrounded by high achievers. It seems like everyone’s just launched a start-up company, bought a new Tesla, or their kid got into an Ivy League college. All this achieving is great – it drives innovation, solves problems, and fuels our economy – but it can also take a toll on individuals and their […]
Perfectionism can make it hard for you to enjoy your life. Are you ready to stop being a perfectionist and start enjoying your life? Do your exacting standards and quest for perfection actually get in the way of happy and fulfilling relationships and experiences? Perfectionism is an unhealthy and unforgiving striving for achievement. Perfectionists want things to be […]
Why are women susceptible to people-pleasing and perfectionism? While people-pleasing and perfectionism aren’t exclusively women’s issues, women are socialized in many cultures to be care takers, put other people’s needs before their own, and be passive. They worry about what other people think of them; they don’t want to displease or be seen as “difficult” or “high maintenance”. […]