End self-criticism and learn self-acceptance

End Self-Criticism and Learn Self-Acceptance

Learn how to end self-criticism and replace it with self-acceptance!     I’m an idiot. What’s wrong with me? I can’t believe I did that – again! I look so fat in these jeans. Why am I so careless? I’m never going to figure this out. My inner-dialogue used to sound a lot like this. And I know, I’m not […]

Healing Shame and Self Criticism

Healing Shame and Self-Criticism

Healing shame Shame is a feeling that you’re wrong, bad, unimportant, or unworthy. Shame defines you as “less than” or “damaged”. The terms guilt and shame are often used inter-changeably, but guilt actually refers to a feeling or belief that your behavior is wrong or bad. Shame is a much more painful experience as it’s felt internally as a core […]

Is Perfectionism bogging you down?

High standards are great. Sometimes, however, we are so rigid in expectations for ourselves that we get bogged down. Needing to be perfect isn’t an asset. Perfectionism can: Impede efficiency – we spend so much time doing and re-doing, seeking perfection, that we waste a lot of time and things don’t get done Keep us stuck – sometimes we don’t do […]

Stop Wasting Your Time on Positive Affirmations

Stop Wasting your Time on Positive Affirmations

Please stop wasting your time standing in front of the mirror reciting positive affirmations. That’s right, affirmations don’t work. Most of us remember the Stuart Smalley character on Saturday Night Live and his comical affirmations. They seem like such a good idea. If only we could just say nice things to ourselves and they would become reality! Well, that’s a […]

Have you considered group therapy?

Counseling Group / Support Group in San Jose Many people are reluctant to try group therapy. I invite you to give it a try. It can be a wonderful experience. Here are some of the benefits: Benefit from the wisdom and experience of other group members, not just the therapist Gain positive sense of self through helping other group members Decreases […]

Break Free From Codependency

Break Free from Codependency

Break Free from Codependency At the heart of codependency is a lack of valuing one’s self. People who are codependent value others more than themselves and this contributes to relationship problems. Their lives revolve around helping, fixing or saving others at their own expense. Relationships become very unbalanced.

Book Review: Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff

I was immediately interested in the idea of self-compassion. I routinely hear my clients being very self-critical. They beat themselves up over large and small things. And often they don’t even know they are doing it. So, a better understanding of self-compassion was in order. I found the book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff helpful. It is easy to read. Her […]