Learn how to end self-criticism and replace it with self-acceptance! I’m an idiot. What’s wrong with me? I can’t believe I did that – again! I look so fat in these jeans. Why am I so careless? I’m never going to figure this out. My inner-dialogue used to sound a lot like this. And I know, I’m not […]
Healing shame Shame is a feeling that you’re wrong, bad, unimportant, or unworthy. Shame defines you as “less than” or “damaged”. The terms guilt and shame are often used inter-changeably, but guilt actually refers to a feeling or belief that your behavior is wrong or bad. Shame is a much more painful experience as it’s felt internally as a core […]
We talk to ourselves all day long. We comment, critique, and chastise our every move. From the big to the small – every decision and action gets scrutinized by our inner-critic. For most of us, it’s harsh. Much harsher than what we say to anyone else. Where does this negative self-talk come from? Sometimes people tell me it’s very […]
High standards are great. Sometimes, however, we are so rigid in expectations for ourselves that we get bogged down. Needing to be perfect isn’t an asset. Perfectionism can: Impede efficiency – we spend so much time doing and re-doing, seeking perfection, that we waste a lot of time and things don’t get done Keep us stuck – sometimes we don’t do […]
Please stop wasting your time standing in front of the mirror reciting positive affirmations. That’s right, affirmations don’t work. Most of us remember the Stuart Smalley character on Saturday Night Live and his comical affirmations. They seem like such a good idea. If only we could just say nice things to ourselves and they would become reality! Well, that’s a […]
Counseling Group / Support Group in San Jose Many people are reluctant to try group therapy. I invite you to give it a try. It can be a wonderful experience. Here are some of the benefits: Benefit from the wisdom and experience of other group members, not just the therapist Gain positive sense of self through helping other group members Decreases […]
Break Free from Codependency At the heart of codependency is a lack of valuing one’s self. People who are codependent value others more than themselves and this contributes to relationship problems. Their lives revolve around helping, fixing or saving others at their own expense. Relationships become very unbalanced.
I was immediately interested in the idea of self-compassion. I routinely hear my clients being very self-critical. They beat themselves up over large and small things. And often they don’t even know they are doing it. So, a better understanding of self-compassion was in order. I found the book Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff helpful. It is easy to read. Her […]