Crying is Good for You | Counseling | San Jose

Crying is Good for You by Sharon Martin, LCSW

Crying is Good for You


When is the last time you had a good cry? I cried just last Sunday. And you know what? I felt better afterward.

Crying is good for you. It is a healthy outlet for feelings. But many people resist. Crying in the therapy office is an interesting thing. Some people cry a lot. They see therapy as a safe, appropriate place for this kind of release of feelings. Others continue to resist, even when I reassure them that crying is healthy and normal. Men are notorious for not wanting to cry, but I find women also resist crying.

The common reasons I hear for not wanting to cry are:

  • I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop
  • It’s embarrassing
  • It’s weak
  • I’ll feel worse
  • I can’t get myself to cry
  • I’m angry, not sad

We often give kids messages that crying is wrong. We tell them “crying is for babies” or “don’t cry like a girl”. The truth is that crying is a wonderful way to express feelings. It relieves stress. It doesn’t hurt anyone. Crying allows for both a physical and emotional release of pent up negative feelings. This will help purge negativity and pain and allow space for positive feelings to grow. Don’t wait for a major disappointment or loss, go ahead and have a good cry. Crying on a regular basis is a good way to relieve stress.

I recently contributed to an article on how crying is good for you in the Medical Daily. I hope you’ll take a few minutes to read the article here.

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Sharon Martin, a licensed counselor and psychotherapist in Northern California, specializes in helping adult children of alcoholics and others who struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, and self-criticism. She has a private psychotherapy practice in CA where she is available for online counseling. Sharon is also the author of The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism and write the blog Conquering Codependency for Psychology Today.


  1. i Cry everyday .. for 8 yrs now .. constantly depressed .. been in and out of therapy for most of my adult life . .i’m 69 now . . how much crying is TOO MUCH ??

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