Perfectionism is a shield. It’s an attempt to cover up your flaws and missteps. It’s like armor that you put on to protect yourself from criticism.
Are you a people-pleaser? Being kind, generous, and flexible are wonderful qualities. But sometimes we’re too accommodating, too eager to please, and too afraid of saying “no”. There is a price to be paid for being “too nice”. Ryan is a classic people-pleaser. He’s been dating Jessie for two years and hopes to marry her. From the beginning, Jessie has been […]
Codependency isn’t just amplified helping. One of the big misconceptions about codependency is that it’s simply being super, duper nice. It’s true that most codependents are kind and generous to a fault. You typically struggle to say “no” and set limits. As a result, people take advantage of your desire to help. But codependency is much more than this. Codependency is a […]
My clients often ask me: “What is a healthy relationship?”. This is a great question because it’s not obvious or instinctual to many, especially if you were abused as a child or you’ve witnessed or experienced abuse in a romantic relationship. If you’ve had a history of abuse or other trauma, it can be hard to know what a healthy relationship […]
I recently had the privilege to write an article for the Stop Medicine Abuse campaign. Their mission is to prevent abuse of over the counter medications, especially cough medicines containing DXM. I decided to write a piece for parents about how to cope if your concern about your teen’s substance use. My tips apply whether your concern is OTC drugs, […]
What is self-care? Self care is doing something for your own health and well-being. It’s something enjoyable. It’s a way of prioritizing yourself. It’s a proactive way to manage stress and ward off anxiety and depression. I’m part of a self-care group for therapists where we share ideas and support each other in taking good care of ourselves. The other […]
Communication problems are one of the most common reasons couples and families come to counseling. It’s hard! It can help to remember that healthy communication is a skill and it can be learned. We all learn how to communicate from our families and other early experiences. However, these aren’t always the most respectful and productive ways to communicate. Below are […]
New Year. New You? Well, yes and no. You are will always be “you”. You’re not going to completely transform yourself because it’s a new year. That being said, it is a natural time for setting goals and change. Many of us like to think of the process of personal growth as uncovering your true self or becoming more you. […]