Are you guilty of giving unsolicited advice? Advice is usually intended to be helpful. And many of us (myself included) offer guidance and suggestions, even tell others what they should do, without being asked. Regardless of our intentions, giving advice that isn’t wanted, can be annoying, intrusive, and even manipulative. In this article, we’ll explore why we give […]
Stop Rescuing and Enabling: Tips for Codependents
Learn to stop rescuing and enabling. Codependents are often caretakers – which seems like a great quality except we tend to do it at our own expense and often when help isn’t wanted or needed. The result is a codependent pattern of rescuing, resenting, and regretting. What is codependent rescuing? Rescuing is an unhealthy version of helping. It […]
6 Signs that You Need to Say “No”
Annie constantly feels overwhelmed by all she has to do. There are so many competing demands on her time – family obligations, social invitations, work deadlines, household chores, community events she’d like to attend, and the ever-elusive self-care. She hates to disappoint people, so even though she’s stretched too thin already, she finds herself saying yes to every request, […]
Holiday Boundaries: Reduce Stress, Reclaim Joy
Boundaries for the holidays. You don’t really need my permission to say no to any of the things that add stress or decrease happiness, but I’m going to give it to you just in case it helps. You have permission to set boundaries and say no to everything that doesn’t bring you joy this holiday season. You don’t even […]
Freedom and Healing from Toxic Relationships
A toxic or codependent relationship can make you feel trapped, small, and deficient. It can feel like an anchor weighing you down, suffocating you. People who grew up in dysfunctional families, with parents who lacked boundaries, abused drugs or alcohol, or suffered from mental illness, develop a set of coping skills that helped them deal with the chaos […]
How To Prioritize Your Needs: A Guide for Codependents
Do you prioritize your needs? Or are you so busy taking care of everyone else that there’s no time and energy left for you? Well, you’re not alone! Lots of us are stretched to the max. And if you have codependent traits, you may find it extra hard to prioritize self-care. Perhaps you’re happy to take care of everyone else’s […]
6 Defining Symptoms of Codependency
We use the term codependency rather loosely these days. It’s great that more people are familiar with codependency, but if it’s going to help us understand ourselves in a meaningful way, we need to be clear about the symptoms of codependency. In a nutshell, people who identify as codependent usually play the role of “rescuer” in a relationship with […]
Shouldn’t I Be Over My Painful Childhood by Now?
“Why is my childhood still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?” Amy, aged 37, asked me at her first therapy session. “I feel like I’m complaining,” she said ashamedly. “I’m sure other people have bigger problems — real problems. I feel silly coming to therapy to talk about getting over painful childhood experiences from twenty years […]