What is codependent thinking? Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is focused on taking care of, fixing, or controlling the other to the extent that he neglects his own needs. The relationship becomes enmeshed – there aren’t clear boundaries or a sense of being separate, unique, independent people. Codependency is built on low self-worth – feelings […]
Why You Need a Self-Love Practice (and How to Get Started)
What is self-love? There’s a lot of talk these days about self-love. It sounds great, but what does it actually mean? How do we love ourselves – and why does it matter? Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing. Self-love encompasses not only how you treat yourself but […]
How to Set Boundaries Without Being Mean
Do you ever feel like it’s mean or selfish to set boundaries? Do you feel guilty — like you’re doing something wrong — when you set boundaries? If so, read on to learn how to set boundaries without being mean and without the guilt and icky feeling that your needs don’t matter. What are boundaries? Boundaries create physical and emotional […]
Why Being a “Good Girl” Isn’t Always a Good Thing
Let go of good girl syndrome, perfectionism, and people-pleasing and rediscover yourself! Be a good girl. Do as your told. Don’t talk back. Wait your turn. Don’t make trouble. Just sit here and be quiet. Smile and look happy. Don’t make your father angry. Where are your manners? How many times have you been told to be “good girl” or […]
Highly Sensitive People and Perfectionism
Growing up as a highly sensitive person (HSP), I often felt flawed, inferior, and overwhelmed. I was told I was too sensitive and quiet, that I should speak up more, and make more friends. Like many HSPs, I was anxious at school because of the overstimulating noise, bright fluorescent lights, crowded hallways, and pressure to be like everyone else. I […]
We Repeat What We Don’t Repair
Do you seem to repeat the same dysfunctional relationship patterns – even though they leave you frustrated and hurt? Why do some people end up in one codependent relationship after another? Why does a woman with an emotionally distant mother repeat the same pattern with her own children? Why do so many adult children of alcoholics marry alcoholics? And why […]
3 Keys to Recovering from Codependency and Perfectionism
“I’m so busy being a wife, mother, daughter, and nurse that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m always taking care of others and trying to keep them happy. I’m not even sure what I like, believe, and value.” “I’m really self-critical. It’s hard for me to accept compliments. I dwell on my mistakes and imperfections.” “I […]
Why Do Some Adult Children of Alcoholics Become Workaholics and Perfectionists?
Why do some adult children of alcoholics become workaholics? “Work first. Play later.” That’s the motto Elizabeth grew up with. It was hard for her to relax and enjoy things when there was work to be done, a project left unfinished, or something still on her to-do list. She was more comfortable working than having fun. Play and rest just […]