Perfectionism can be a serious barrier to success and happiness at work and in personal relationships. We might think having high standards is a good thing. However, perfectionists are so harsh and rigid in their thinking and behavior that it can become a problem.
Here are 10 signs you are a perfectionist to help you get started.
- High expectations for yourself
- Procrastination – perfectionists can get overwhelmed making it hard to get started and/or finish projects
- Need to please others – strong need for others to like you, be pleased with your work
- Fear of failure, abandonment, not being accepted or fitting in if you’re less than perfect
- Extremely goal driven- perfectionists can push themselves very hard, setting big goals for themselves
- All or nothing thinking – perfectionists may frame things as all or nothing: I’m a success or a I’m a failure
- Feel like you are letting others down – if you are not perfect, you believe others are disappointed
- Self critical – criticize yourself for every little mistake
- Harsh or critical of others who don’t live up to your high standards – some perfectionists are not only hard on themselves, but also have high expectations of others leading them to be critical
- Can’t tolerate criticism or negative feedback from others
There are a lot of good qualities underneath perfectionism. You can learn to moderate your thinking and behavior. Just a little bit of movement in the opposite direction can be enough to help you feel better, be more productive, worry less, and have more satisfying relationships. If you are in the San Jose area and struggling with perfectionism, please be in touch to learn how I can help.