10 Signs you are a Perfectionist

Signs you are a perfectionist #perfectionist

 

Perfectionism can be a serious barrier to success and happiness at work and in personal relationships. We might think having high standards is a good thing. However, perfectionists are so harsh and rigid in their thinking and behavior that it can become a problem.

Here are 10 signs you are a perfectionist to help you get started.

  1. High expectations for yourself
  2. Procrastination – perfectionists can get overwhelmed making it hard to get started and/or finish projects
  3. Need to please others – strong need for others to like you, be pleased with your work
  4. Fear of failure, abandonment, not being accepted or fitting in if you’re less than perfect
  5. Extremely goal driven- perfectionists can push themselves very hard, setting big goals for themselves
  6. All or nothing thinking – perfectionists may frame things as all or nothing: I’m a  success or a I’m a failure
  7. Feel like you are letting others down – if you are not perfect, you believe others are disappointed
  8. Self critical – criticize yourself for every little mistake
  9. Harsh or critical of others who don’t live up to your high standards – some perfectionists are not only hard on themselves, but also have high expectations of others leading them to be critical
  10. Can’t tolerate criticism or negative feedback from others

There are a lot of good qualities underneath perfectionism. You can learn to moderate your thinking and behavior. Just a little bit of movement in the opposite direction can be enough to help you feel better, be more productive, worry less, and have more satisfying relationships. If you are in the San Jose area and struggling with perfectionism, please be in touch to learn how I can help.

Sharon Martin, a licensed counselor and psychotherapist in the San Jose area, specializes in helping adult children of alcoholics and others who struggle with anxiety, perfectionism, and self-criticism. She has a private psychotherapy practice in CA where she is available for online counseling. Sharon is also the author of The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism and write the blog Conquering Codependency for Psychology Today.

4 Comments

  1. I found your post very interesting as the middle way Ishtar best way. But I pondered on where perfection can be better and how I seen that be positive than just the middle way. My teacher is a Tibetan Lama and he has a perfection in his spirituality. I always felt that it was challenging as a student but along the way, I had learnt so much.

  2. Hello Sharon great article for inspiration, it can be quite dreadful i use to want everything to be perfect once upon a time, the struggles of nothing being good enough can be quite stressful but glad i crossed that bridge and realised that mistakes is what makes us stronger.

    Quick question what plugin is that for your social sharing and how did yo add that little bio at the bottom of your blog i think it look great.

    Have a great day

  3. I think your post is very interesting, i have 5 of theses signs and i was really cool how you pull all of this together, but i tought maybe you could give some tips about how to get better, i mean, how not to be perfeccionist.. but great anyway! Congrats

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