childhood trauma, adult children of alcoholics, and self-worth

What Every Adult Child of an Alcoholic Needs to Know About Self-Worth

    Children who grow up in alcoholic, dysfunctional, or abusive families often feel inadequate, defective or broken; and these feelings don’t magically disappear when they grow up and leave home. Feelings of inadequacy stick with us – plaguing many Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACAs) or Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families with a lack of self-worth.   Why do some […]

Shouldn't I be over my painful childhood by now?

Shouldn’t I Be Over My Painful Childhood by Now?

  “Why is my childhood still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?” Amy, aged 37, asked me at her first therapy session. “I feel like I’m complaining,” she said ashamedly. “I’m sure other people have bigger problems — real problems. I feel silly coming to therapy to talk about getting over painful childhood experiences from twenty years […]

Codependent Thinking: What it is and how to change it

Codependent Thinking: What It Is and How to Reframe It

What is codependent thinking? Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is focused on taking care of, fixing, or controlling the other to the extent that he neglects his own needs. The relationship becomes enmeshed – there aren’t clear boundaries or a sense of being separate, unique, independent people. Codependency is built on low self-worth – feelings […]

How to Set Boundaries Without Being Mean

How to Set Boundaries Without Being Mean

Do you ever feel like it’s mean or selfish to set boundaries? Do you feel guilty — like you’re doing something wrong — when you set boundaries? If so, read on to learn how to set boundaries without being mean and without the guilt and icky feeling that your needs don’t matter. What are boundaries? Boundaries create physical and emotional […]

Let go of Good Girl Syndrome and people-pleasing #goodgirl #peoplepleasing #perfectionist #ACA

Why Being a “Good Girl” Isn’t Always a Good Thing

Let go of good girl syndrome, perfectionism, and people-pleasing and rediscover yourself! Be a good girl. Do as you re told. Don’t talk back. Put others first. Wait your turn. Don’t make trouble. Be quiet and look pretty. Don’t ask for anything or ask Be on your best behavior. People are watching. Don’t embarrass me. Selflessness is a virtue. No one […]

Codependency and Perfectionism

3 Keys to Recovering from Codependency and Perfectionism

  “I’m so busy being a wife, mother, daughter, and nurse that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m always taking care of others and trying to keep them happy. I’m not even sure what I like, believe, and value.” “I’m really self-critical. It’s hard for me to accept compliments. I dwell on my mistakes and imperfections.” “I […]

The effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family

The Effects of Growing Up in a Dysfunctional Family

    If you grew up in a family with a chemically dependent, mentally ill, or abusive parent, you know how hard it is — and you know that everyone in the family is affected. Over time, the family begins to revolve around maintaining the status quo – the dysfunction. Rigid family rules and roles develop in dysfunctional families that […]