Children who grow up in alcoholic, dysfunctional, or abusive families often feel inadequate, defective or broken; and these feelings don’t magically disappear when they grow up and leave home. Feelings of inadequacy stick with us – plaguing many Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACAs) or Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families with a lack of self-worth. Why do some […]
Tag Archives: ACOA
3 Keys to Recovering from Codependency and Perfectionism
“I’m so busy being a wife, mother, daughter, and nurse that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m always taking care of others and trying to keep them happy. I’m not even sure what I like, believe, and value.” “I’m really self-critical. It’s hard for me to accept compliments. I dwell on my mistakes and imperfections.” “I […]
Why Do Some Adult Children of Alcoholics Become Workaholics and Perfectionists?
Why do some adult children of alcoholics become workaholics? “Work first. Play later.” That’s the motto Elizabeth grew up with. It was hard for her to relax and enjoy things when there was work to be done, a project left unfinished, or something still on her to-do list. She was more comfortable working than having fun. Play and rest just […]
Therapist Recommended Books for Adult Children of Alcoholics
This post contains affiliate links. After my earlier blog post about growing up in an alcoholic family, I got a lot of requests for additional reading suggestions. We are fortunate that there are many helpful books for Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs) on healing codependency, trauma, and relationship challenges. Below are some of my reading suggestions for adults who […]
What is Childhood Emotional Neglect?
This post contains affiliate links. Do you feel empty and disconnected? Do you sense that you’re different than everyone else, but you can’t put your finger on what’s wrong? Childhood Emotional Neglect, a term coined by psychologist Dr. Jonice Webb, is a powerful experience, but one that often goes unnoticed and untreated. In fact, many people who experienced Childhood […]
Adult Children of Alcoholics: How Addiction Affects the Entire Family
Alcoholism and addiction affect the entire family, not just the addict. The effects are especially profound if you grew up with an addicted parent. Many adult children of alcoholics (ACOA) or addicts are amazed at how accurately the six family roles outlined in this article describe the family they grew up in. Why is addiction considered a family […]
Heal Codependency: Lessons From a New Self-Help Book by Sharon Martin
Are you drawn to people with serious problems, who tend to “under function”? Do you feel lonely in your relationships? Do you feel like no one listens to you or no one cares about you? Are you tired of having the same arguments over and over again? Do you feel invisible or insignificant? Do people take advantage of your […]
What are Healthy Boundaries?
According to Merriam Webster Dictionary, a boundary is “a point or limit that indicates where two things become different”. It is where I stop and you begin. A boundary is a line or space between two people. Healthy boundaries are important to our physical and emotional health. Boundaries provide protection. If boundaries are weak, we are vulnerable. And if […]