Freedom and Healing from Toxic Relationships

Freedom and Healing from Toxic Relationships

    A toxic or codependent relationship can make you feel trapped, small, and deficient. It can feel like an anchor weighing you down, suffocating you. People who grew up in dysfunctional families, with parents who lacked boundaries, abused drugs or alcohol, or suffered from mental illness, develop a set of coping skills that helped them deal with the chaos […]

6 Defining Characteristics of Codependency

6 Defining Symptoms of Codependency

  We use the term codependency rather loosely these days. It’s great that more people are familiar with codependency, but if it’s going to help us understand ourselves in a meaningful way, we need to be clear about the symptoms of codependency. In a nutshell, people who identify as codependent usually play the role of “rescuer” in a relationship with […]

Shouldn't I be over my painful childhood by now?

Shouldn’t I Be Over My Painful Childhood by Now?

  “Why is my childhood still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?” Amy, aged 37, asked me at her first therapy session. “I feel like I’m complaining,” she said ashamedly. “I’m sure other people have bigger problems — real problems. I feel silly coming to therapy to talk about getting over painful childhood experiences from twenty years […]

Codependent Thinking: What it is and how to change it

Codependent Thinking: What It Is and How to Reframe It

What is codependent thinking? Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is focused on taking care of, fixing, or controlling the other to the extent that he neglects his own needs. The relationship becomes enmeshed – there aren’t clear boundaries or a sense of being separate, unique, independent people. Codependency is built on low self-worth – feelings […]

How to Set Boundaries Without Being Mean

How to Set Boundaries Without Being Mean

Do you ever feel like it’s mean or selfish to set boundaries? Do you feel guilty — like you’re doing something wrong — when you set boundaries? If so, read on to learn how to set boundaries without being mean and without the guilt and icky feeling that your needs don’t matter. What are boundaries? Boundaries create physical and emotional […]

Let go of Good Girl Syndrome and people-pleasing #goodgirl #peoplepleasing #perfectionist #ACA

Why Being a “Good Girl” Isn’t Always a Good Thing

Let go of good girl syndrome, perfectionism, and people-pleasing and rediscover yourself! Be a good girl. Do as you re told. Don’t talk back. Put others first. Wait your turn. Don’t make trouble. Be quiet and look pretty. Don’t ask for anything or ask Be on your best behavior. People are watching. Don’t embarrass me. Selflessness is a virtue. No one […]

Codependency and Perfectionism

3 Keys to Recovering from Codependency and Perfectionism

  “I’m so busy being a wife, mother, daughter, and nurse that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m always taking care of others and trying to keep them happy. I’m not even sure what I like, believe, and value.” “I’m really self-critical. It’s hard for me to accept compliments. I dwell on my mistakes and imperfections.” “I […]