Conquer your People-Pleasing Patterns

People-pleasing is a common trait among codependents. It simply means that you go to extremes to make other people happy, often at your own expense. Have you noticed that your people-pleasing causes problems for you? Well, logically we all know that it’s impossible to please others all of the time. So, we are doomed to failure when we’re constantly people-pleasing. […]

Don’t take it Personally…. It’s not all about you!

Don’t take it personally…..It’s not all about you! And I mean that in the nicest way. It’s common to imagine that others are thinking about and responding to you much of the time. You aren’t conceded or selfish. However, this is a common thinking error that leads to taking things personally when they are not. Below I shed some light on […]

Co-dependency: Answers to your Questions about Co-dependent Relationships and Co-dependent Behaviors

Co-dependency: Answers to your Questions about Co-dependent Relationships and Co-dependent Behaviors What does co-dependency mean? Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship pattern where one partner is dependent and impaired in some way and the other is constantly trying to help, change, fix, rescue. The “rescuer” derives self-esteem and purpose though helping. The emphasis on helping the partner often means the “rescuers” […]

Understanding Co-dependent Reltaionships

Understanding Co-dependent Relationships by Sharon Martin, LCSW Co-dependent relationships are out of balance. Co-dependents are extremely caring people, but codependency goes beyond wanting to help others. Co-dependents want to fix others. Co-dependents derive self-esteem and feel valued primarily through the helping role. They, therefore, become attached to people who have problems of various sorts and need to be taken care of.

What is Codependency? Am I codependent? How do I change codependency?

What is Codependency?

Codependents often grew up in dysfunctional families (often plagued by abuse, addiction, mental illness). Many find a spouse/partner or have a child or other family member that is very troubled and becomes the focus on the codependent’s life.

Codependency

My Wednesday night group has been working on codependency. We have used Melody Beattie’s classic book Codependent No More as our teacher. So, codependency has been on my mind a lot as I guide several clients through their conflicted relationships with alcoholic and troubled spouses, parents, and siblings. On my way home tonight I heard Sara Bareilles’ “King of Anything ” on the […]