When Life Feels Out of Control Coping with Uncertainty

When Life Feels Out of Control, Focus on Yourself

  Sometimes, life feels out of control. The future is uncertain. We’re not sure how to cope.   Most of us like to feel in control. We like things to be predictable. We like it when we can plan something and make it happen. We like it when other people do what we want them to do. We like things […]

Coping with Insomnia, Stress, Anxiety, Uncertainty

Insomnia During Times of Stress, Anxiety, and Uncertainty

Many people are experiencing insomnia due to stress, anxiety, and uncertainty.   Insomnia, trouble falling or staying asleep, is a common symptom of stress or anxiety. So, it’s no wonder that so many of us aren’t sleeping well as we’re faced with growing coronavirus cases, a high-stakes election and divided nation, fire season in California, and a multitude of other […]

How to Journal to Reduce Stress and Anxiety

Journal to Reduce Stress and Anxiety

  Everyone experiences stress – the tension and pressure of too many demands on our time and resources (both emotional and material). And even if you don’t meet the clinical criteria for an anxiety disorder, I’m sure you’ve experienced some of the most common symptoms of anxiety from time to time: uncontrollable worry trouble concentrating insomnia rumination or obsessive thoughts […]

6 Signs that You Need to Say No More Often

6 Signs that You Need to Say “No”

  Annie constantly feels overwhelmed by all she has to do. There are so many competing demands on her time – family obligations, social invitations, work deadlines, household chores, community events she’d like to attend, and the ever-elusive self-care. She hates to disappoint people, so even though she’s stretched too thin already, she finds herself saying yes to every request, […]

Shouldn't I be over my painful childhood by now?

Shouldn’t I Be Over My Painful Childhood by Now?

  “Why is my childhood still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?” Amy, aged 37, asked me at her first therapy session. “I feel like I’m complaining,” she said ashamedly. “I’m sure other people have bigger problems — real problems. I feel silly coming to therapy to talk about getting over painful childhood experiences from twenty years […]

Codependent Thinking: What it is and how to change it

Codependent Thinking: What It Is and How to Reframe It

What is codependent thinking? Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is focused on taking care of, fixing, or controlling the other to the extent that he neglects his own needs. The relationship becomes enmeshed – there aren’t clear boundaries or a sense of being separate, unique, independent people. Codependency is built on low self-worth – feelings […]

Detach from Difficult People

Detach from Difficult People without Justifying, Arguing, Defending, and Explaining

  Are you familiar with the acronym JADE? It’s a reminder to not justify, argue, defend, and explain. If you’re you repeatedly drawn into conversations or arguments that seem to go nowhere, feel compelled to respond to accusations that you know are false, or feel like you have to justify your behavior or choices to a “difficult” family member, please read […]