Do you have a strong need to please others? When was the last time you told someone “No, I can’t help you with that” or “I have a different opinion”? It can feel risky – emotionally vulnerable – to set limits or assert our needs or opinions (especially if we know they are different than other people’s). Of […]
Annie constantly feels overwhelmed by all she has to do. There are so many competing demands on her time – family obligations, social invitations, work deadlines, household chores, community events she’d like to attend, and the ever-elusive self-care. She hates to disappoint people, so even though she’s stretched too thin already, she finds herself saying yes to every request, […]
Do you ever feel like it’s mean or selfish to set boundaries? Do you feel guilty — like you’re doing something wrong — when you set boundaries? If so, read on to learn how to set boundaries without being mean and without the guilt and icky feeling that your needs don’t matter. What are boundaries? Boundaries create physical and emotional […]
Let go of good girl syndrome, perfectionism, and people-pleasing and rediscover yourself! Be a good girl. Do as your told. Don’t talk back. Wait your turn. Don’t make trouble. Just sit here and be quiet. Smile and look happy. Don’t make your father angry. Where are your manners? How many times have you been told to be “good girl” or […]
Why are women susceptible to people-pleasing and perfectionism? While people-pleasing and perfectionism aren’t exclusively women’s issues, women are socialized in many cultures to be care takers, put other people’s needs before their own, and be passive. They worry about what other people think of them; they don’t want to displease or be seen as “difficult” or “high maintenance”. […]
People-pleasers are sometimes described as “doormats” because they let everyone walk all over them. You can learn how to set boundaries without guilt, communicate assertively, and respect yourself and others.
The holidays add some extra challenges when it comes to healthy boundaries. As you know, the holiday season means more social commitments, financial pressures, family gatherings, more eating and drinking. You may find yourself over-stressed and off your normal routine of exercising, sleeping, healthy eating and other positive coping activities.
If I showed you my flaws If I couldn’t be strong Tell me honestly, would you still love me the same? (from Locked Away by Rock City, featuring Adam Levine) If I show you my flaws, will you still love me? That’s really what we’re all afraid of, isn’t it? If I’m not perfect… If I make a mistake… If […]