Shouldn't I be over my painful childhood by now?

Shouldn’t I Be Over My Painful Childhood by Now?

  “Why is my childhood still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?” Amy, aged 37, asked me at her first therapy session. “I feel like I’m complaining,” she said ashamedly. “I’m sure other people have bigger problems — real problems. I feel silly coming to therapy to talk about getting over painful childhood experiences from twenty years […]

Codependent Thinking: What it is and how to change it

Codependent Thinking: What It Is and How to Reframe It

What is codependent thinking? Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is focused on taking care of, fixing, or controlling the other to the extent that he neglects his own needs. The relationship becomes enmeshed – there aren’t clear boundaries or a sense of being separate, unique, independent people. Codependency is built on low self-worth – feelings […]

Books for Adult Children of Alcoholics #ACA #recovery #codependency #counseling #trauma #dysfunctional #family #selfhelp #book #review

Therapist Recommended Books for Adult Children of Alcoholics

This post contains affiliate links.   After my earlier blog post about growing up in an alcoholic family, I got a lot of requests for additional reading suggestions. We are fortunate that there are many helpful books for Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs) on healing codependency, trauma, and relationship challenges. Below are some of my reading suggestions for adults who […]

Why Your Loved One Getting Sober Doesn't Solve Your Problems. Codependents fantasize that their loved one getting sober or treatment will fix or solve their problems or save their marriage

Why Your Loved One Getting Sober Doesn’t Solve Your Problems

  Mary and Dan have been married for 10 years and for nine of them Dan has been done tried everything in his power to help Mary get and stay sober.  He’s driven her to the emergency room, called rehab facilities, participated in the family program at the three recovery programs she’s attended, given her lists of therapists, begged her […]

What Causes Codependency?

What Causes Codependency?

  What Causes Codependency? Once people recognize that they have codependent traits, they often begin to wonder where these codependent tendencies came from. Why are some people susceptible to codependency in their adult relationships? What causes codependency? Why is it so hard to break free from codependent relationships? While the answers aren’t the same for everyone, for most people it begins […]